Dealing with Confrontation Tactfully in 12 Ways

Pick Your Battles

It is never a good idea to argue with everyone. Know when to pick your battles. If someone has wronged you once whilst acting out of character, then confrontation can be avoided by allowing them the benefit of the doubt that their behavior won't become a common occurrence. For example, if you are in a work meeting and someone speaks over you, confrontation can be avoided by understanding they may have been overly-keen to speak their points and ideas. If this happens constantly, then you should confront them about it.

Prepare Yourself Mentally

If you have to deal with confrontation, take a small amount of time to prepare yourself mentally. Think about what you are feeling and why you feel wronged, and think about how you are going to articulate you feelings clearly.

Pick Your Moment

If you are planning confrontation to try and resolve a problem you have with another individual, then it is important to pick the right moment to confront the person. It is always better to confront someone when they are alone so you can have a calm and calculated conversation about your issues. Confronting someone in a group situation will likely cause them to become defensive and ruin your chance of having a calm discussion.

Always be Calm

It is easy to loose your temper during situations of confrontation, especially if the person is stubborn and unwilling to accept their wrongdoings. Always try to remain calm, as this will give you the best possibility in terms of cognitive performance and thinking clearly. This means that you will be able to process your thoughts clearly.

Never Throw Insults

Insulting someone personally or professionally in situations of confrontation will never look good on you as an individual. Throwing insults at people will make you come across as petty and unable to formulate a constructive argument. Doing this will also likely anger the individual with whom you have confrontation, and is probably the worst thing you can do in regards to dealing with confrontation.

Always Remain Factual

If you are in a situation of confrontation, then it is important to not fabricate your arguments based upon occurrences you think are true. Always remain factual and only draw upon examples of things that the person has actual done to wrong you when forming your arguments during moments of confrontation. Try to be clear and assertive whilst remaining both calm and productive. Try to state your points then finish talking. Don't ramble on as this will likely come across as moaning, which would be extremely counterproductive.

Always Self-Reflect

Self-reflection is very important. You need to be able to honestly analyze your own wrongdoings if they are apparent. Know where you may have made mistakes which could have led to confrontation, so you can work on bettering yourself in the future.

Choose Your Words Wisely

Try to say how you are feeling. If you say something similar to “I feel that…”, it makes it incredibly hard to argue with you, as you are simply stating how you are feeling. If the person is being overly aggressive during confrontation, say something like “why are you shouting so aggressively?”, this will focus their attention onto their own actions, which can work to curb the rush of adrenaline and anger that can easily build during confrontation, helping them to calm down and reflect for a moment.

Listen to What They Say

This is extremely important when dealing with confrontation for many reasons. It is unlikely that you will reach a conclusion that goes 100% your way, which is why listening to the other person and reaching a compromise is important. If you completely disregard what they have to say, you won't be able to have any kind of useful dialogue. You should also listen out for certain verbal traps that they may say to you. If they say things like “you have to agree that…”or “would you say…”, these words indicate that they know what you think and feel, which would of course be a false assumption. You could return fire with something along the line of “so if I am not mistaken, you believe that…”.

Respond Intelligently

When responding, it is important to show that you have listened to the words they spoke and formulate a response based on what they have said and your views on it. This gives you the opportunity to use what they have said against them, by pointing out errors in what they have said with facts you know to be true.

Don't Allow Them to Manipulate You

It can be easy to get drawn into the anger of confrontation, especially if the person is becoming overly aggressive. In many arguments and moments of confrontation, the other person may be trying to anger you on purpose to cause you to lose your calmness and control. You should not do this. If you find your blood beginning to boil, try to breathe deeply to calm yourself. If you cannot, then follow the final point.

Know When to Stop

If the other person is becoming too angry, then try to defuse the situation. When doing this, it is best to remain calm to not exacerbate their anger. If you feel as though the situation has gotten out of control, know when to walk away. Sometimes when dealing with confrontation, the best thing you can do is leave the situation.