Sometimes people will search for a method to end their lives quickly and painlessly and there are answers, but know that none of them is really painless.
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everyone out there who is reading this and wanting to kill them selves please just listen. My mom and dad split up when i was 8 and me and my mom moved away. My mom was awarded full custody over me and me dad only saw me on weekends. Before the first weekend of the divorce he hung him self. He wrote a letter to my mom saying he loved me and her very very much but this was how it had to end. Every two days me and my mom go and see my dad's grave and she only divorced him so that they could get back together in one year anyway. If my dad had not have killed himself my life would be much better. To everyone out there please think before you act, our world is full of oppertunities im sure there is a great one waiting for you. Thanks for reading I hope you live a long and happy life, If you do need to talk contact me on instagram as bethany.higgs, im the logo with a golden dolci and gabana apple. :) IM always available to talk but i live in England so remember time zones. :) :) :) :) :) -
I want to end up my life for many reasons.I am a failure in every step of my life.I'm not a good child to my parents.I love someone but he doesn't understand me,hurt me emotionally and intentionally.he never console me when I cry,sometimes I feel he actually doesn't love me,I dont have any good friends..I'm not even successful in my profession....all I want now just a painless death...had enough pain in life, not anymore.
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I can't do this anymore I just can't. I want to just not exist anymore I don't want an afterlife I don't want death I just want to not exist because then the pain will be gone and so will the memories. I won't be in heaven or wherever thinking how I killed myself I'll just be gone. But there's no way to do that. And if death is the next best thing..
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I just don't know how to leve my last words to my 8 year old son ... How can I explain .. I had to go . That I can't stand to be alive . That I first attempt to end my life his own age . I live in a prison of my own mind , fighting the desire to die . Every day since I can remember I feel the need to end my life , this dark shadow is growing , greater,darker and heavier . How I've reached 35 I do not understand .. Is it by courage or cowardice...
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Well Im not a kid. I hope every night I go to sleep and don't wake up. I refuse to try and kill myself because I might fail that as well. I have tried 2 before and failed. My mom found me the 1st time. I truly pray for death to end this mind hell I'm in. A wreck anything. I will probably out live my loved ones because I do pray for deaTH,,,
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Everyday i wake up, I sit in bed wondering if today will be the day i do it. If today ill even be able to feel something. Everyday I wait so anxiously for someone to come save me from my drowning. I always wonder, Do they see how much pain im suffering through? They tell me they understand, They tell me all will be okay.. And for their sake i pretend I am. Its been four years and these thoughts and feelings are only worse. My smile is a constant struggle, A constant reminder of how im fooling everyone around me. If they could feel the thoughts I have, I wonder what they would say then? Talking to others does not help, Because in the end they cannot help you, Yes they try so hard but reality is nothing helps. I feel like ive been dropped into a hole and its only getting deeper and deeper... Ive lost myself, Ive lost my thoughts, Ive lost my feelings. I have lost me. I want to die, More than anything on this earth. I want to be at peace, But unfortunately I cannot do that to my family. To my loving mother, to my beautiful sisters... For my baby I have to push through. Even if that means crying away from everyone everyday, trying to smile when all I want to do is fall to the floor in tears...
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I don't want to live because am basically already dead. I guess you can say am a walking corpse. My goal and my future was to become a professional athlete. I just had an accident that hurt my knee and now the doctor says I'll never be able to run again, so, my dreams are now impossible to reach. After that news I instantly knew I was dead. So why keep living a life without a future or dreams to pursue. I mean I am not in pain or anything like that just don't have a reason to keep living.
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I just blew the last chance given to me in this life.. and see no point (beyond point of no return) in remaining in this unfair world... i hate myself for all that i have done.. cliche.. why should i live anymore.. everything i built, i tend to destroy it.. i see no purpose in living anymore.. i would just be a burden to everyone...
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I have the potasium so wish me luck see you guys in the next life
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All of you can say i have a good life but no one knows what ive been through in the past and it really hurts say that i will never get over it. Never got over it when i was little and still never had gotten over it from now. My parents(divorced) love me but i don't love them back, i know its selfish. But im 17 about to be 18 and homeless and not ready to be out there considering im broke except for the 1 dollar i have with me. Ive never really had a girlfriend but doesn't bother me. I have no job. My sister 27 she doesn't live with me but we don't talk. Ive mostly been alone all my life. i have dog that no longer want to interact with me :/ I go to an alternative school to graduate quicker because i knew one day my mom was going to leave me in the streets. I wanted go to collage for music production but don't have the money nor gpa for that. I have to go to court but with what parents to attend? i was supposed to have my hearing yesterday but not even happen, might not even have a case even though i did nothing wrong honestly. I suffer from some sort of heart problem im sure, that i feel everyday haven't told anyone. I feel sevrely depressed have been feeling for a good 10 years. I don't want to kill myself because i think thats also selfish to me and "surroundings" but also i cant keep living with myself. I had a dream last night that a tornado came and i had 2 choices live or died and i chose to die then i woke up in reality. And as i keep explaining whats going on with me i feel weaker nd more depressed. i feel like i was an accident. and i probaly was considering my sister 27 and im 17 and my teach is 28 :/ I slit my hand open by accident while at work, probably should of let myself bleed out tbh. and now i sit here writting a sob lifestory "depressing":/ And the only thing i think about right now is how much my brain hurts and how much i love my dog too bad hes old now any time hell pass away :( :( and probably me too after that.
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